Moving On!

omg omg, my blog post posted to page! (19/04/09)

This is to inform everyone reading my blog that I have shifted to blogspot long ago…

Erm, too lazy to dig out the new address to put onto here. Those whom dont find my contents lame can pm for my new blog address.

Goodbye Moving On! 1 last time…

Time: 29/03/09 0753 a.m. Weather: Fine

I was very to blog recently but I cant help it but to blog this, i scare i forget… First, happy 30 da shou to PIG!

Of cos, i din wake up to wish u happy birthday pig…

Coming to the story:

It started in a room with a table and a pot of “foreign imported flowers” I din know why a guy like Andy is in my dream. Not my idol, my sis’. He imported a pot of flowers from some country and I somewhat got that pot of flowers (maybe to deliver or wat, i forgot that part alr)

Curious enough (rare flowers), I took out camera to take photos lor (pig u were on my right hand side that time) grandma came into the picture and used the old model camera (with film) to help me take photos. Of cos at then, i just said, “we alr using digital cam for such pics, can erase and take super ezily (i was holding 1)” Then we took pictures of the flowers from all angles (that time grandma was behind in a single seat sofa)

After taking pics, I curiously go to the preview option on my digital cam and realized that images are blurred, cos was missing 1 AA batt. I replaced the batt and look thru the cam only to realize grandma was between me n the flowers. Of cos i look back at the sofa, she is also there! I look outside cam to look at the flower pot but she isn’t there. I look thru camera, she was in between!!

dramatic part, suddenly i kneeled down and broke into tears(even that time i din shed tears, why this time?)… and shouted, ” grandma bye bye” before I woke up chanting “na mo omni.. etc” (of cos with a little fear in heart, was forced to wake up somehow)

Guess this is the second time i dreamt of my grandma for these years. First dream was not so clear and forgot most parts. A little regret why I suddenly woke up. I felt like grandma got something to tell me but i weak, i woke up just like that.. zzz

Btw, today is falls in qing ming season…

Time: 00:00 a.m soon 19/03/09 Weather: Dunno, all dark
I read on my little book, “u have absolute control of ur mind to make it think of what you want to think of”

I deem my life is ok. 14800 grad out there is jobless and I am 1 of of them but yet to despair. (thanks to chin for the info)

I deem my life is ok. Even I have been going out lesser, socializing lesser, with strange mood on n off.

I deem my life is ok. Even nothing has been smooth sailing for the past 1/2 year.

Just feel like typing a few words, nothing special, time to slp

I dont sick dont sick, once sick is zzz.. now down with heavy flu… After army, all the old injuries and sickness are surfacing… 1 pattern after another… Now:

Backache

Headache

Block Nose / Running Nose

Giddy

What worse could happen tonight? I got 0 medicine (cold relieve din work yesterday and worsen my flu) 99% got my flu from students some day b4… sad… zzz… doctor starts work at 8 am tmr and I cant even lie down, worsen my giddy head and headache… happy suffering Ryan!

If u dont see me active online the next few days… I am probably in bed

Actually I wrote and erase like a 2 pages of blog. Found it a bit inappropriate to talk too much.

For pple who are worrying for me please dont worry alr. I am absolutely clear abt what will happen to me next 5 years. I am 100% in control of myself alr. I can feel it. I am not affected by emoing or watever alr.

Jobless is not scary. Is the way pple look at you that is. I din choose to be jobless, cos I got an envision of what I have to do next. I rejected some jobs offers, cos they are not going to lead me to anything that I am planning for. I am earning enough to at least to feed myself now and hope what I am planning works in the coming few mths. It takes courage to stand out and tell pple what absurd idea you have in mind, but I really have one in mind and I am working my way there!

For pple not feeling rite out there, my advice is take control of your life. Dont let another person or event or watever take control of you and your feelings. Even your closest. I found many wise pple (just some good friends ard) to talk to and they gave me good advices to strengthen my direction. If you need a talk, look for such pple. Not everyone ard you will agree with your thots even if they are ur closest, but as long watever you are doing is morally correct, does not harm anybody, and you find it has to be done that way, go ahead! Cos 1 leads his own life! In life, you have to account for yourself b4 u account for pple’s expectations.

I have many many pple I wanna help and many many responsibilities I wan to shoulder in my mind! So I have no choice but to grow “stronger”. Stronger in every aspect of life to take them on

As I have said b4, i dont fall sick usually… but once i sick, is zzz…

All started on Sunday. Had a cold at night, woke up midnight took some anti-cold tea and went back to slp.

Monday was all ard the place doing something, got a little drenched by the drizzle with moist heat in the air. Then got backache / giddy head at tuition place, got ok… then took a 12 hr slp…

Tuesday urine looked like orange juice (without pups of cos!) , started to diarrhoea, initially was not so draining, went on to tuition and was ok whole evening. Forced myself to eat curry as dinner as it was the only dish on the table then tada…

My last night i drag myself from bed to toilet and this repeated till now… Ironically, the dreams i had between these small naps are not bad! the only 1 i rem now is i won a running obstacle kind of race (i was nv good a running but i won?! lol) A strange old sec sch girl esther was in the picture… omg… y u in my dream? Perhaps that was why i won the race cos she was leading in midpt and i told myself there was no way i could lose to her.. LOL… Best part after the race is the prize was a pait of tickets worth $10k to go to Paris!! wah.. the figures aint realistic but u know! is a dream!

Then nature calls n calls…

How i wish someone ard to help me out now… really 0 str to move abt more then 2 metres (bed to keyboard is 50cm only :D) get me some medicine, cook me some proper non diarrhoea causing food and let me get some proper slp…

Str disappearing… gtg on bed again…

haha… borrowed a phrase from desmond… feeling weird today…

it has been long since i blog, cos if u work from 9-10 everyday u will be lazy to blog… nothing much to blog also…

today i finally slow down my footsteps again n start pondering the same old question… a question that really needs time to decipher…

made many friends in my new work environment for the past 1 mth, yet good things dont last…

i must admit i really enjoy working at safra for the past 1 mth… it was a very female working environment lor! LOL

Cant even form a proper paragraph today… brain not working… will take some time to recollect myself n start my engine again…

seeking for things u really wan without knowing wat it is, life has come into yet another new chapter for me

3 things to say:

i) blog is taking years to load recently… can friendster plz do something abt the blogging sys?

ii) i have been unlucky targeted for spam remarks

iii) i got 100 things to say 4 days ago but could not log in… now i got nothing i can rem to say… LOL

if these goes on, i’m closing my blog alr… anyway who reads it? LOL…

time: 2:42a.m. 06/01/2009 weather: BLACK BLACK, dont even know got clouds a not… LOL

New year goals almost all met… from aircon to phone to … etc material needs / wants are ezier to fulfill (just pay cash lor)…

Despite those, many things are left undone / unresolved… 1 day away from 2009… may 2009 be a smooth sailing year for all

time: 22:08 29/12/08 weather: dunno (in room with enclosed 4 walls)

Things u can accomplish are only things u can do individually and 100% u can do it by urself… Whenever u need grp actions, u cant dictate other pple’s thinking… the best u can do is influence them, influence them to agree with u or come out with a solution together

I always believe nv to give up on mates, yet this believe is fading in every single game and every single thing i do… cos i yet to meet anyone with this believe… sad…

headache now… mouth itchy go drink milo when i alr got dry nostrils… shld stop here n go rest.. bye bye